Comparison truly is a thieve of joy. Don’t do it. It’s a trap. Your hair is as unique as a snowflake or thumbprint. Even if someone has hair that may appear similar to yours, there are subtle differences, which is why even when you are following your favorite YouTubers, do so as a gentle guide.
Comparing doesn’t just happen with loose naturals and curl/coil pattern, it happens within the loc’d community too(It’s all NATURAL). If your Starter Locs look different from someone else’s, or your Sisterlocks or mature locs aren’t as “curly” looking, that’s ok! If you don’t have the same hair, your hair will be different and that is ok.
No, it doesn’t “talk” but it definitely lets you know what it does/doesn’t want. Braids too tight? Your follicles are begging for relief. It doesn’t matter how much they cost. It’s cute now, butlater, it will show up. Pulling and tugging, and over maintenance have consequences.
Many tend to loathe shrinkage, and only want to see big, full, hair. However, if your hair tends to always shrink, no matter how many attempts at stretching you try, it’s saying it likes to be shrunken and may even thrive there.
Hair not recoiling after silk presses? Did protein treatments and still…what is the hair communicating? It may be time to alternate styles that eliminate heat for a while. If uncomfortable, consider getting a unit made with human hair that will mimic the desired look.
Sometimes we have to reframe our thoughts about our hair. It’s like wiping our windshields or glasses when they are “spotty.” For example, what is your definition of a“style fail?” Not having “perfect definition” or whatever your desired look is isn’t necessarily a “fail” it’s just how it came out! Add earrings, lipstick, square your shoulders and try again because there is a learning curve when getting to know your hair and yes, you can still be getting to know your hair after 5 years, when you’re loc’ing, you are learning your hair at every stage.
Following these steps will begin the process of shifting the narrative about your hair so that you can have your best hair day yet!